Lights Will Guide
by ikissedtheLaurie
Summary: Extremely cliché. Extremely first time at fic-ing. After the break-up, House and Cuddy try to get by. It doesn't really follow any sort of storyline at all. Based on Coldplay's Fix You.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Fix you by Coldplay always reminded me a little bit of Huddy. I don't want to post the whole story in one go, I'm just testing out the waters - this is my first time. Let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: The characters are not mine and the lyrics did not come from my pen.**

_**When you try your best but you don't succeed.**_

He tried so hard. Tried so hard to be the man deserving of her love and her trust, of her heart. But he failed. Like he always did. He couldn't do this right, he couldn't get that perfect. He couldn't go running with her, he couldn't take her dancing, she was so good at it, so beautiful when she let out her soul on the dance floor. He couldn't give her the smile of freedom she got from those things. He couldn't even muster up the strength to take her to her favourite club for one night, because he just wanted to "stay in" with her. Pathetic. And now she's gone, because he couldn't give her the best. His best. Everything she deserves.

_**When you get what you want but not what you need.**_

House was so beautiful to her. Tall and strong. Broad shoulders and big arms. Long legs with big muscular thighs. He was built like a god to her. But it was his face, his withered face, that she thought was beautiful. The frown in between his eyes that told of too much thinking in his lifetime. The strong jaw that has made a good punching bag over the years. His deep dimples when he allows his mouth a smile. His thin lipped pink mouth. And his eyes. His honest eyes. One look into them, really into them and you knew everything going on behind the strong chest and frown. He was so beautiful.

For long she dreamt of holding his hand as they walked side by side. For letting her lap play his pillow when he was feeling tired, or playful, or sad. Running her hands through his hair as he kissed her with the passion he'll only reserve for her. And when that time came, it was like she imagined. His hands were soft and the weight of his head felt good. His lips showing a passion of their own.

But that want she had for him didn't seem to be enough when one night turned into six months. He couldn't comfort her when she tried to convey to him that it was all she wanted. He didn't make breakfast or take her to clubs. When she wanted him, he was all she could ask for and more. When she needed him, she wish she could just want him again.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you all for the lovely reviews, I need the self confidence boost. Also, I apologise for the short chapters - I don't really know what I'm doing, anyway, here's another.**

_**When you feel so tired but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse.**_

Cuddy had broken up with him over a week ago. Every night he unconsciously listened for that knock on the door, for her to come to him and tell him that she made a mistake. That she's hurting so much without him, that she wants him back. But it hasn't come. So he goes to bed disappointed every night.

There's no body to cling to him in the morning hours for warmth. Not one to curl into and nuzzle and lightly stroke. She's gone. And he's alone. And he's just so tired of life without her. And he can't even sleep.

It's nights like these she missed him. When the full moon is out and the stars aren't that bright. When her iPod shuffles to an old blues song, when the breeze is just light enough to be called that. When her red wine is half drained and she's reclined on the couch and just the tiniest bit too lazy to top herself off. He never hesitated to make sure that her drink was always full. He would slide out from under her weight, take her glass, making sure that his fingers first enveloped hers, pretend to kiss her but pull away at the last minute, smirk, and fill her glass.

Now she was on her couch, in those teenage-y pyjamas he made fun of but loved so much, and she's slightly cold, and all she wants is for him to come through her door kick of his shoes and slide in behind her. She needs him to come keep her warm, to lull her to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you once more for the reviews, they really brighten my day! This next one was hard for me to write, I don't know why, but I hope you enjoy it, it's also slightly, very, very slightly longer than the previous two. Enjoy :)**

_**And the tears come streaming down your face**_

She always seemed to be making him cry. He cried with the whole infarction debacle, Stacy also had a little play there but that doesn't matter. He cried while hallucinating detox. He cried in Mayfield. He cried on the night he found out she was engaged, the night she came to him. And now he's crying again, because all the previous crying has been undone.

He doesn't hiccup or sniff or shudder, tears just stream down his face. Silent and hurt.

_**When you lose something you can't replace**_

There are certain things around her house that are running low, or that has left imprints on the carpet or a mark on a bedside table. Things that he brought, he influenced. Rachel ate the last of the apricot jam she bought just for him. His helmet left a scrape on the wall by the door when they entered too roughly one night and she can't bring herself to scrub it off. She feels as if she placed her things on his bedside table it would mean that it's finally over. The realisation of it all would dawn on her and she can't do that. If she cleaned her house of him she would be replacing him. With nothing.

_**When you love someone but it goes to waste, could it be worse.**_

He went out and got clean for himself. He really did, but after a while, it got about her too. If he could be responsible and clear headed off drugs then she'd fall for him, the attraction was there, the whole world could see it. So now maybe the physical attraction would shift to an emotional one and she'd love him with everything she had. That's what went through his mind after a while.

He came back and was on a mission to finally capture her heart.

But he was too late. So he stood back and watched as she went on with her life, he did the noble thing, obviously he still wasn't good enough.

She let her hair down a little when she was with him, he'd suggest 10 minute breaks after barging into her office, and she'd accept, and they'd just sit on her couch, hold hand, kiss, it was nice. Sometimes he took her on a bike ride, which was really fun.

There was one day when she was crushed under a mountain of paperwork and she told him to back-off just for one day - which roughly translated to "keep annoying me 'till I leave these very important matters to pay attention to you" in House-tongue. So he kept standing behind her playing with her hair, or tapping his foot against her chair. He even made her coffee and stared at her until she gulped it down.

After a while the attention-seeking behaviour became less and less subtle, he'd throw her crumpled up paper balls at her or walk by and lick her cheek, until she couldn't take it anymore and pushed all her paperwork onto the floor and asked him

"Should I strip myself down or do you wanna do it?!"

He looked at her with those oh-so-innocent eyes and simply replied

"Will you go to the movies with me tonight?"

Like she could refuse. The rest of the afternoon, after her helped her pick up the scattered papers, he helped where he can, just so he could take her on a date.

Her paperwork didn't get finished though, she had to ask for an extension. The board wasn't happy about it, but she was.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hi once again. The reviews keep me going so thanks for them! Here's another, I'd like to think that there's some progress here. Enjoy :)**

_**Lights will guide you home**_

_**And ignite your bones**_

_**And I will try**_

_**To fix you**_

It's raining. And it's late. His leg is murdering him. It's been little over 3 weeks.

His patient needs a lung.

His jacket and gloves keep him from getting pelted too hard by the rain, but the front of his jeans are soaked and his sneakers aren't waterproof, he's freezing. And his leg is suffering.

When he pulls up at her home, there's only one light on. Figures, it's past 1:30 in the morning. He knocks softly. This will be the first time they've been alone together since... And he wants to get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible.

A few other lights flick on and before he knows it she's in front of him. He feels a bit guilty for waking her up, without all the make up he can see the tired lines around her eyes.

"You came here on your bike?"

"I came from the hospital, went there with my bike. Seems logical that I-"

"Yes okay, I get it. Your patient that bad that you were still there?"

"Yeah, uhm, he needs a lung transplant"

She's not quite awake yet and instead of responding she looks him over. He's soaked, and definitely putting a lot more pressure on his left leg. She feels bad for him.

"Come on in"

_**High up above and down below. When you're too in love to let it go.**_

She gave him the towel he used to use at her house to dry himself off and some stray sweatpants who didn't really belong to either.

The case was explained, and both being too tired was grateful that the other was thinking rationally tonight.

The rain was falling down hard on the earth and looked more like continuing streams than individual drops.

"You can crash here. Call the team, tell them it's okay and then take my bed. I'll go crawl in with Rachel"

She says it so fast he takes a while to comprehend. The past couple of weeks hang heavily over their heads and is resting on his tired shoulders. So he doesn't refuse, simply nodding his head and retreating to her room.

Stripping himself of his damp t-shirt he crawls into the unmade side of the bed, where she'd obviously been sleeping a few minutes before. He sighs because it smells so good, so like her. The feeling of her soft cream coloured sheets on his bare chest is creating a lump in his throat. He just misses her so much. He wants her back so much. Wants her love back, so much.

It's not 5 minutes and he's asleep.

Cuddy is in her kitchen. She doesn't know how she managed to extend the offer to him but she did and he's now in her bed. Lying on her side because she's been sleeping on his since the break up, and he won't get in where the bed is unmade, probably.

Too tired to wait for the kettle to boil and the tea to get cold, she heads to Rachel's room.

The second her head comes in contact with the pillow she starts crying. She can't handle him being here in her house as a stranger again. The fact that they don't and can't sleep in the same bed anymore and the fact that she's so sad all the time without him. She cries till she falls asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hi. Firstly, I want to apologise for the pace this story is moving at. I'm not particularly happy with the ending at this point, so I'm trying to put off posting it until I get a burst of inspiration and make it better. Anyway, here you go, a bit more lighthearted.**

_**But if you never try, then you'll never know, just what you're worth**_

The next morning she's up before him, obviously, and she's thinking a little clearer with the sunlight reflecting off the toaster into her eyes. The dark brown bread pops up and she smears it with butter and strawberry jam - he likes apricot more but it's all she has and maybe he's been craving it - before putting it in a small plate next to the coffee pot.

There was a reason for their break up she muses, she loved him and it was a very hard decision, she can't remember what it was at the moment but she will. She can't just take him back because he's sleeping half naked in her bed, and when she snuck in that morning to get her toothbrush she saw his huge back and adorable squished mouth against her - his - her, THE pillow. No. That's not gonna happen.

Just then a groan emits from her room and some rustling ensues. She thinks that maybe it would be nice of her to take the toast and the coffee to him, his leg looked like it hurt last night.

She fills a cup with black coffee and scoops in 3 spoons of sugar. The plate in one hand and the white cup with the piano keys around the rim in the other she makes her way to her room.

Mid stretch he hears her, smells her, feels her coming toward him. He's a bit groggy, it took him 7 minutes to realise that they've broken up - that's why she's not in bed. A further 3 to recall all that happened last night and 13 seconds to swallow the lump and blink his left eye dry.

She's barefoot but all battle armour from the knees up, blazer, soft pink silk shirt, tamed curls. She always used to put on her heels last... Something about scratching the floors, but he knows she liked the cold feel of the wood, slightly sticking to her feet as she walks. He never understood why she was embarrassed about it - it's adorable.

"Hi" it's soft, like when she hasn't spoken all morning

"Hey" he replies, rubbing his face

"Here's some toast, I didn't have apricot jam sorry you know since you don't come by of-"

"It's fine, thank you" he interrupts, no reminder needed that she hasn't stocked up in a month

She stands awkwardly at the foot of the bed, not sure what to do so she just wings it:

"Would you like a ride to work, I mean the rain last night and your leg, your bike would be harsh, I'll bring you back don't worry, or maybe I'll take you home, get someone to drive your bike back, or not whatever, what do you say?"

"Uhm I don't think I understood a word of that, try again"

"Haha-" nervous laugh "I asked if I could take you to work in my car?"

He looks confused for a second, then thoughtful, then almost blissful, and then finally, accepts.

"Sure. Thanks."

After he's eaten he washes his plate and she rushes in behind him

"Oh, I was gonna do that, you didn't have to"

"I've already made you late, I did it, it's okay"

A grateful smile steals over her face and his heart can't decide if it wants to do triple back flips or hyper ventilate (he knows a heart can't but whatever) so instead it stops and he thinks that maybe he did deserve a little bit of her love.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I'll give you another chapter t'day so I can sort out the last one. Enjoy :)**

_**Lights will guide you home**_

_**And ignite your bones**_

_**And I will try**_

_**To fix you**_

That night after she's packed up, she heads to the fourth floor to see if he still needs the lift, his office is the only one with a light on. Through the layers of glass she sees him laying on his eames chair.

"Hey" she says leaning against the glass

His eyes open slowly and he gives her a small wave

"I've been waiting for you" he says

"I'm ready to go, you still need the lift?"

"Yeah, please, if you're still giving it"

"Of course" she says with a small smile

He gets up a little out of breath. They walk side by side to the elevator. It used to be so natural to take his hand after she came to fetch him. They'd head home together, maybe grab something to eat, maybe cook something together. They'd spend some time with Rachel, playing or reading. Then they'd snuggle up on the couch and whichever show was on that night they'd watch. They'd head to bed, maybe have sex, maybe just talk while holding each other, and fall asleep. It used to be so simple - being together. And now they're walking with a few breaths of air between them and a massive gorge between them.

He let's her get into the elevator first and gives a longing stare to her legs.

They drive home in relative silence, House is reminiscing about their relationship, he got a little carried away and smiled, catching it in his reflection and hoping Cuddy didn't see.

Cuddy was thinking about how she just wanted him to come in, and pour her some wine, give her a kiss on her shoulder. She almost burst into tears. She hoped House couldn't tell.

When they got home they both climbed out of the car, walked to his bike on opposite sides of the driveway, came to a halt, and stared at each other.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Last chapter, thanks for all who read and took the time to review. I appreciate it. I hope I did them justice. Enjoy :)**

_**Tears stream down your face when you lose something you can not replace.**_

Like a glass, standing near a heat source for too long, heating up, and finally bursting, everything Cuddy has been feeling for the past month, times 10, came rushing forward and leaped out of her tear ducts. She shook and hiccuped. Her breath caught in her throat and her face was streaked with tears. She couldn't hold it back, the last 24 hours broke her carefully structured survival armour.

House didn't have the faintest clue what to do when Cuddy started crying. He used to hold her and stroke her hair the few times it did happen during their relationship, and that's where his dilemma came in - they weren't in a relationship anymore. He tentatively reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. Every so often giving it a squeeze.

She looked up at him with her shiny eyes and he could sense what she was about to ask and he knew he didn't have the answer. He didn't know.

"What the hell are we doing, House?"

"Cuddy... I..."

He really didn't have anything else to say. He blanched. He just wanted to kiss her. Just, just, just, just. Everything these days were "just".

Before he could make the decision of taking her in his arms she made it for him by crashing into his chest with the force of a broken woman fighting back. Her hands pawed at his blazer and her cheeks transferring the tears onto his thin shirt.

He kissed the top of her head and whispered "I love you" over and over again. He kissed her temple and said "I'm sorry" into her ear. He pulled her closer to him, trying to get her to feel the way he was reacting to her. Heart, body, breath, everything. He needed her to understand his pain.

_**Tears stream down your face, I promise you I will learn from my mistakes. Tears stream down your face and I...**_

They stood there for eons. Her crying and him trying to calm her down, to make her feel better, she shouldn't be crying over him.

Eventually he took hold of her arms and stroked it up and down a couple of times.

"Cuddy, can I take you inside?"

She nodded and he did, he sat her down on the couch and looked at her until her eyes came up to meet his. He hesitated a few times, opened his mouth to speak but closed it again. Looked to the carpet, and the wall, and out the window. Finally his gaze travelled back to her, he expelled a breath and went for it.

"We need to get back together because clearly being apart is killing us, do you agree?"

She was momentarily silenced by that. It was very straightforward, true though, she knew she was too hard on him, and that she should give him a chance to be a better man for her. She couldn't drive to the hospital in separate cars for one more day. She looked down and nodded.

"And we'll be okay." He said while moving closer to her. He put his arms around her once more. "It's gonna be okay, yeah?"

She looked up at his face, the last tears spilling over. Her fingers tentatively reached out to his fuzz covered cheeks and held him. His eyes looked hurt and hopeful at the same time, she's seen that look too much in her life. Her left hand moved into his hair, pulling him closer until their foreheads touched.

"Yeah" she breathed with a smile.

**THE END**


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